Are You Virtuous? Part 2

In case you missed Are You Virtuous Part 1 you can click here to read it...


"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

This verse is very clear that a woman of virtue is a rare thing, and her value or her price is far above even the most valuable gems in the world. This is definitely something I strive for and I will obviously always be a work in progress because I do sin and I will always have something new to work on in my life. I think it is important for everyone to strive for being virtuous, but especially women because they can be such a blessing or a burden to their husbands and families depending on how they choose to act. I am not saying men and women are not equal, we are equal in Christ and how we all have to come to Him, but He has designed men and women for very specific purposes which are different from each other. Neither purpose is better or more important than the other, in fact they were designed to work perfectly together until sin corrupted the world. 

A virtuous woman is to be 

• devoted to her family- Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth said: Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God." / Proberbs 31:11-12 "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so  he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

• delighting in her work- Ruth 2:2 "So Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, please let me go to the field, and glean heads of grain after him in whose sight I may find favor. And she said to her, go, my daughter." / Proverbs 31:13 "She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. (I realize these tasks they were doing we don't really do today, but they can still be applied to any type of hard work and working cheerfully, for God and without complaining. Something that is definitely tough to do!)

• diligent in her labor- Ruth 2:7, 17, 23 "And she said, please let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves. So she came and has continued from morning until now, though she rested a little in the house. 17 So she gleaned in the field until evening, and beat out what she had gleaned, and it was about an ephah of barley. 23 So she stayed close by the young women of Boaz, to glean until the end of barley harvest and wheat harvest; and she dwelt with her mother-in-law." / Proverbs 31:14-21,24,27 "She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extender her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet." Wow, these ladies are definitely hard workers! I'm pretty sure I have no idea what it means to work hard compared to these women and at the time they lived, how much work they had to put in just for food. Ruth stayed with her mother-in-law even though her husband (MIL's son had passed away). Ruth looked at her like family and vowed to take care of her and serve her. As far as the verses from Proverbs, it is pretty amazing that this woman woke up when it was still dark out to prepare food for her family, sold things to make money for her family, and even helped the poor. It makes me take a look at my own life and the areas where I get lazy in and it motivates me to be more virtuous like these women were, I mean hey they even got their stories recorded in the Bible. That is pretty amazing, and I think that just quietly working hard and not worrying if anyone notices and gives you the credit for it is virtuous in itself.

• dedicated to Godly speech- Ruth 2:10, 13"So she fell on her face, bowed down to the ground, and said to him, why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner? 13 Then she said, let me find favor in your sight, my Lord; for You have comforted me, and have spoken kindly to your maidservant, though I am not like one of your maidservants." / Proverbs 31:26 "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." As I discussed in my Mouth and Tongue Issue post having self-control over what we say is so important and so very difficult! 'Word vomit' comes out so easily, so naturally, saying whatever we want, whatever we are feeling. There's that key word however, 'feeling.' Our feelings change momentarily and are not to be completely trusted which is contrary to what the world tells you to 'follow your heart.' Godly speech is something that takes work, practice, and purposeful thinking before speaking as well as lots of prayer which should be our first choice of lifelines when it comes to anything and everything.

• dependent on God- Ruth 2:12 "The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge." / Proverbs 31:25, 30 "Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." I used to 'depend' on myself for well, everything. I did not know God at all and I did not know He wanted me to depend on Him. I made all my decisions on my own, I went through life struggles on my own, I tried to make things happen on my own, I had absolutely no one I turned to who I knew that knew every single thing that would happen in my life and what was best for me. Now, I can't imagine anymore trying to make my own decisions without Christ showing me His will and not my will or my 'plans' I thought I wanted for my life. Everything I do, I do for Him and with Him in mind, I am slow to make decisions now because I need time to pray over them and for God to show me it is His will. 

• dressed with care- Ruth 3:3 "Therefore wash yourself and anoint yourself, put on your best garment and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking." / Proverbs 31:22,25 "She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 25 Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come." Wow, this is a huge area for me, God has shown me so much about modesty I can't even write it all down here (perhaps I will do a whole post on it later). It is really important to take care in what you wear, how you cover your body. Do you show others that you respect your body and God and cover up appropriately? Or do you feel that your body is what is valuable about you and show it off to anyone and everyone? I think there are different 'levels' of modesty and I am not an extreme version of it if you want to put me in a category, but every day I look in the mirror and ask 'is this pleasing to God?' I definitely have changed a lot if I thought something possibly could be too low cut or something and I have pretty much gotten rid of most of my old wardrobe because I just could not wear those things anymore. I don't have any shorts, short shirts or anything like that that I would wear in public. I always wear shirts under shirts and make sure I am covered up. 

• discreet with men- Ruth 3:10 "Then he said, blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich." / Proverbs 31:11-12 (quoted above) I think that it's tough for women to understand the blessings of being discreet with men and not throwing themselves at men. Desperate doesn't look good on anyone, trust me, I've tried it! Being a quiet, meek and reserved woman waiting for God's plan to unfold is the most humbling thing you can do, it also shows Christ how much you trust Him. This is a huge lesson He taught me and for two years I did not initiate any type of relationship, but I grew in the Lord and focused on Him. It was amazing how fulfilled I was and impartial to when He would bring me a Godly man that He knew was right for me versus what I thought I wanted. It is very important to treat every man as some other woman's potential husband or actual husband. You would not do or say anything that you would not do in front of his wife or future wife. (If you are in a relationship then it is a little different but you still need to hold back and wait for God's greater blessing in marriage if you are pursuing a Godly relationship). There is no need to try to make a certain guy like you, it is so middle school and plus it puts up a false image of you and it will attract the wrong men. Having a man who appreciates a meek and God fearing woman is an amazing thing! It means he probably wants to be the leader of a home someday and that is definitely the type of man you want around for your children. It is far better to be alone for awhile than base a relationship off of looks or physical things. This is the hard path to choose, so much of the world wants things now and with anyone. That is not how God planned for people to be and that life promises happiness but fails miserably.

• delivering blessings- Ruth 4:14-15 "Then the woman said to Naomi, blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him." / Proverbs 31:28-29, 31 "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." In Ruth, she took care of Naomi and blessed her by making her life better and easier. This makes me think about how often we take care of our elderly relatives and hey I'm guilty of this as well. Look around nearly every town and city and you see homes for the elderly where most of their families visit just for Christmas if that. I understand there are extreme circumstances where some people just don't really have any families left, or they live far away and many families today are not financially capable of taking that loved one into their home. I ask this question, do we do everything we possibly can to care for that person and make their life better and easier? I know I don't and I need to make time for those older relatives and show them I do care about them and not just on holidays. They need people every single day just like any of us, they just can't come to us like we go everywhere we desire to go. In these verses in Proverbs we get a visual of a woman who works incredibly hard for her family, stays in line with the Word of God, and continues to seek His will because her children call her blessed and her husband praises her. Wow, that must be an amazing feeling to have your family treat you like that. I wish every American family was how God intended families to be; it's like complete and perfect harmony with each other working together as a team. It sounds like a dream, but with Christ at the center it is attainable. Obviously no one is perfect and no family is perfect but with Christ at the heart of all decisions it is going to be honoring God. How many of you out there had that type of home life when you were a child? What do you want for your current and/or future children?

Mouth and Tongue Issue... Do You Have Control Over Yours?

Proverbs 21:23  "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles."


The mouth and tongue issue...

Well I definitely struggle with saying things I should not, and I honestly don't know a person who doesn't say the wrong thing to others once in awhile. It's really the worst when I have said something to someone and I can't stop thinking about it and how mean or dumb they probably think I am, then when I finally get the courage to apologize to them, they don't even remember it! I just feel this great sense of relief though when it's all resolved and apologized for. I thank my God for convicting me of things I have probably been doing for years that I never paid any attention to. I cringe when I think back at how I used to talk in every day language. I think it stopped when I had my daughter Kayleigh, I never thought it was right to swear or talk with foul language around children so I pretty much stopped right when I had her. Then to my surprise I started to notice many parents who did not stop their bad language around children and it bothers me more than I can say. There also were a few young children I knew who would swear at adults which was shocking to me, but to the world this is nothing new. Nothing new at all. In fact, the Bible has something to say about that in Ecclesiastes 1:9 "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."



Now, back to my original Proverbs! Whoever guards his speech, words, tongue, mouth will keep his soul from troubles. It is an interesting connection that this makes between what comes out of our mouths and whether or not our soul has troubles. If people only knew, if they were only remotely aware of half the things they decide to say and the impact it has on themselves as well as others, I wonder if  they would think a little bit more. It's amazing how the world tries so very hard to cover up this fact and promote outspokenness and foul language. I'm not against freedom of speech at all here, but there are a lot of times where people's mouth's get them into more trouble than was worth. Everyone always wants to get the last word in, I know I used to be like that. I would not just quietly and meekly leave an argument, I HAD to be heard and I HAD to administer my 'closing arguments' to the other person no matter what! I probably considered myself to be quite a nice person, but if you were trying to tell me something I didn't want to hear or didn't agree with, I was going to let you know it. And I used to always interrupt people and be loud and obnoxious. I thought it was fun and I didn't care. Fun was the purpose of my existence, whatever I wanted to say, do or think I did just that. 


Over the past nearly 3 years however, the Lord Jesus Christ has radically done a work within my heart, soul and mind. I surrendered completely to Him and I didn't want to be in charge of my pathetic life anymore, so I started little by little giving Him more and more control of my life in different areas. One of those being guarding what I say. It's always tough to think very carefully before you blurt something out, but I'm sure there are some talented people who don't have a real problem with that at all. (Please teach the rest of us!) I think that learning to surrender what you say as a Christian can be extremely powerful because a lot of what we do say can ruin our testimony as far as what we say Christ has done in our lives (for those of you who are followers of Christ). I think this is where so much of the world calls us hypocrites and extremely judgmental, well they had to get those ideas from somewhere and I think that too many times Christians have opened their mouths out of perhaps anger, embarrassment, irritation, or to try and prove something and have given all Christians a bad name. That is why I find it extremely important to monitor what I say because I represent Christ in a fallen world that is used to filth, trash and unfiltered hurtful language. 


I just want to say to people who do not personally know Christ that if a professing Christian has ever verbally attacked you or judged you or said don't do something when they themselves have done that exact thing, please don't judge your perceptions of God based on that person's actions and behavior. None of us are perfect, and if anyone claims to be I would love to follow them around and see how they achieve perfection in their thoughts, actions and everything they do. No one person can do the right, perfect and holy things all day every single day except Jesus Christ. He was the only perfect person to walk this earth because He also is God. I need to be looking to His perfect example on how to speak to others because I myself, will always fall short. 


Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
I love that verse because it is extremely clear as to the things we should be talking about as Christians. Now I have no doubt we should be using the Word of God to help people see the sin in their lives that they are accountable to God for (see my 'Eternity... What Matters' post) but in no way should we be trying to tear people down and spew venom out of our mouths. I think that it seems so normal to talk like that or hear language like that we don't realize it is like poison to us. 


James 1:26 "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless." 
This verse talks about just that, how if you are a Christian and you are trying to tell another person about the saving knowledge of Christ and you do not control or bridle your tongue, everything else you have said is worth nothing. That is a pretty serious problem if you would love nothing more than for another person to be saved by the grace of God. 

James 3:2-6 "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell."

                                                 
This analogy the Bible makes is very well done and makes it fairly simple to apply God's truth to our lives in practical ways. We all stumble in many ways, and Christians are definitely no different. Everyone has areas in their lives they need to let God work on and surrendering things to Him you think you can do yourself is no small task. It takes a constant decision of giving up control to Him and letting Him work things out. It actually took me awhile to understand fully what that meant, and that I no longer had to do things on my own. I was so used to trying to fix things, trying to mend things, trying to accomplish things and trying to make things happen; but the key word in all of those is 'trying.' Things never really went well when I was in charge of my own life, I was in a dark place I really saw no way out of. Then one amazing day, someone shared with me how valuable I was to Christ and that He wanted a personal relationship with me and He wanted to handle everything and help me to make decisions and not do anything on my own. 


In James, I really enjoy the ship analogy because it gives a very clear picture of something so huge (like a giant ship) being controlled by a tiny rudder. It sort of puts into perspective just how powerful our tongues and what we can can be, we can use it to build people up and allow blessings in our lives or we can use our tongues to tear other people down with our lives crashing to the ground right along with them. Digging into these verses really gets me thinking, or wanting to think, more purposefully about the things I say and how they may be harming others or myself. 

And I'll leave you with one more verse...

1 Peter 3:8-11  "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that  you may inherit a blessing. For he who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it."  


  

-Alisha